.: dedicated to my MOTHER =,( :.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.....

Al-Fatihah.........

=,(

=,(

=,(

=,(

dear readers.

i cant express wut i feel right now.

terasa hati saya menekan2.

and emotion sy: numb.

it all started on.................

17th January 2011:

* received a text msg from my dad that he n my sis otw to Uni Hosp.

my mom kne admit kmbali.

batuk2 n kua darah skett2..

dat nite sy trus lik uma after buka puasa coz adik2 je tgl uma.

mlm cket bapak call n pesan

" kakngah. condition mak getting worse. be prepared k.doa byk2"

i asked "worse tu mcmane?"

"sangat.... pray 4 her k"

sy terus jadie numb. senyap.

adik sy yg lelaki (misc) ajak g hosp on d dot.

sy dgn pyjama sarung sweater je.trus g.

sampai2 d hosp, tgk mak dgn alat bantuan pernafasan n all d equipments....

YA ALLAH....

Sayu sgt hati ni.........

saat tu jugak sy pgang tgn mak......

dan terus menangis..........................................

sy da mule rase akan kehilangan mak............

mak pndang sy dan masih boley ckp

"kakngah, balikla..xpyh stay.esok kje"

mak, mstila kgah xpedulikan da kje kgah.....

ure d most important person in this world for me.........

=,(

....................................................................................

kami adik bradik n fmly mak sume stay up dat nite.

bergilir2 bacekan surah Yasin dan dhikir buat mak. xhenti2........

18th Jan 2011:

seharian sedara mara datang menziarahi mak.

mom's condition???

sudah mulai lemah. hanya nafas mak yg sy dengar.

itupun sudah memadai bg sy sbg bukti yg mak masih d sisi sy....

malam tu kami tuka syif lg bergilir bace Yasin d wad...

19th Jan 2011:

pagi tu slepas Subuh, sy gantikan tmpt kakak.

sy bacekan dhikir dan kalimah syahadah d telinga mak..

sy belai mak sperti bayi yg sedang tidur....

memang saat itu mak seperti bayi yg sedang nyenyak.....

at 7.16 am, tgn mak tbe2 jd kejang,

mak buke mata dan dlm ms bberapa saat,

nafas mak trus berhenti...........................

7.18 am :

doc mengesahkan bahawa mak telah tiada..............

innalillahiwainnailaihi rajiun........

segala urusan mandikan mak, solat semuenye dpermudahkan.....

jam 12 lbey tgahari:

mak selamat d kebumikan d tanah perkuburan bkt kiara.......

ini rentetan mengenai apa yang terjadi saat pemergian mak.

Allah lebey menyayangi arwah mak dan xmahu mak menderita lagi...

saya redha dengan qada' dan qadar NYA.....

Its just that all the memories with her are in my mind rite now...

jujurnya,

mak adalah insan yang paling tabah dan independent yg pernah sy temui....

she take care of all of her child, send us to school, prepare evrthing for us...

mak jugela yang banyak mengajar sy ttg erti kehidupan....

ms kecik2 dlu, mak yg anta ke swimming class.....

sbb tu sy pandai berenang skg.....

mak jugela yg pujuk sy untuk amek class menjahit slps spm saat org len sume amek lesen memandu.....

n becoz of that, sy kenal mesin jahit dan tau jugela basic2 menjahit ni

(tp da lame tinggal..=p)

but most of all,

mak mmg sahabat terbaik.....

mase saye sedey ttg 1 mslh d uia dlu (xperlu d ceritakan kot)

mak la pemberi semangat saya........

dlu ms mak jemput d uia,

mak selalu sembang2 dlm kete n msti selitkn kata2 nasihat dan panduan pd sy.......

n jugak ble mak anta kmbali ke uia,

mak suke tnye,

"nak mcd x? ley drive thru..."

ya Allah................................

sy sangat2 sangat2 sangat2 sangat2

SAYANG KAN MAK SAYA...........

mak banyak berkorban sejak kami kecil lg.....

mak tinggalkn kerjaya demi menjaga anak2 nya.......

ya Allah.....

tangan ini tidak mampu meneruskn kisah2 mak lg....

terlalu banyak untuk diceritakan........

terlalu banyak pengorbanan mak buat kami............

ya Allah,

kini,

ap yang mampu aku lakukan adalah

BERDOA... dan banyakkan ibadah untuk d hadiahkan buat mak......

mak, kakngah akan sntiasa berdoa untuk meringankn ap shja yg mak lalui kini......

Ya ALLAH,

KAU selamatkanlah mak ku....

sesungguhnya mak adalah insan dan ibu terbaik buat kami.....

ringankanlah penderitaan nya.....

lindungilah dirinya dr seksaanMU.....

Ampunkanlah dosa2 nya........

ya Allah, sesungguhnya aku amat menyayangi mak ku..........

semoga mak d tempatkn bersama insan2 yang beriman dan beramal soleh....

AMEEN~

to all readers,

please....

do appreciate wut u have rite now.

sayangilah mak dan ayah anda.

sesungguhnya kita tidak tahu bila mereka akan meninggalkan kita............

wallahu' alam...

.: hari yang memenatkan... phewww :.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim....

sejak due menjak tige menjak ni sy suke updet blog sy.

i know that none of u realize the existence of my blog.

its okeyh.

coz that would be much better for me to write anything i feel.

as if now, SAYE SUNGGOHLAH PENATT~~~

n_n*!@##

(tu bukan mencarut oke tapi tanda penat... hee)

maybe sbb pg tdie sy jage exam then trus wat record for the students + perah otak wat test 2 questions, absenteeism n bla3.......

tapi,

mane ade kje y tak penat kn???

tdo mungkin.... huhu

xpela, u can survive...

bukan selalu pown bz2 cenggini...

brula xmakan gaji bute, kan2?? ^^

oye, tutop ksh keje yg membosankn.

i would like 2 share on my mom.

mak sy kne admit lagi.

mcm biase d UH (Uni Hosp) PPUM

sebab utamenye adelah lately ktorg tgk pewot mak tbe2 kembung plek.

cm org prgnant.

dan keras.

sblm ni x..

coz mak kn da kuwus, jd pewot pon kmpes jek.

tatawla nape..

last nite mak masih oke.

xjumpe doc lagie.

hopefully today dpt taw d reason....

mak, b strong ye....

memang sakitkn kne cucuk sane cucuk cni,

but pls hold on.... we all want the best 4 u......

^^

.: hari menanda kertas :.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.....

Good morning ~ ^^

hari ni sj cume ad 1class in d afternoon.

jdi kerja sy hari ini adelah:

menanda kertas soalan..

sunggohla xseronok rupenye nk check sume paper student kan..

ad quizzes, test, assignment, bla3......

but still, its part of my job.

need to do it no matter wut... huhu~

oye.

smlm sy urut2 mak.

lepas mkn n solat.

mak sy smakin kuwus sjak sakit...

kesian mak..

tp smlm mak sgt chumels.....

mase sy urut2 mak tbe2 mak ckp....

" bagi pencil tu...."

(saye blur. pencil apekah d katil??)

upenye mak refer pade bntal yg sy beli bntuk pencil. kale biru. gambar nemo.

mak nak pelokkk....

(chumels kan?? ^^)

mak.......

please be strong ye....

kami semue ade disisi mak.... no matter wut......

mak, SAYANG mak sangat2.......

^^ (lots of hugs + kisses 2 u)

Taylor Swift "Today was a Fairytale" Music Video HD

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.....

Hari ni sy ade 1 je kls.

supposedly ad 1 more new intake tp start next week.

so xperlula sy bgon awl2 untok thumb in 7.30 am. (yeyeh,tp nxtwk no escape.huhu)

err sbena sy in d process completing my exam questions.

mmg penin pale nk wat soklan.

at d same tyme sy surf jugak. nk ilgkn tnsion.hehe

i would like 2 share dis vid.

really shweet~~

not an official video of taylor swift but still AWESOME!!~

bile tgk vid nieyh, cube gakk renung2 kmbali,

adekah sy pnah mengalami perasaan speti dat gurl in dat vid?

pikir2 lik. NONE. ZERO.

hahahaha~~

tahla. sy ase mse sy kcik2 dlu, sy xtrfkir kot ske2 org nieyh.

even de gosip2 ngn org pown, bukan rase apepon.

taw nak maen jek...hee

sy paling suke nek beskal ms skola ren dlu...

bapak sy de hadiahkn twin bike yg due org ley kayuh tp 1 bskal jek.

besh gilerrr!!!~~~

mase 2 ngn maksu. g skola petang pown nek bskal je...

sonok sbb de org tpi2 jalan tegor.

patu tgk pmandangan indah kt kg.

patu mkn eskem + jajan.

n macam2 lagi....

sy rinduuu zaman skola sy dlu.

xperlu nak berfikir mcm org dewasa.

xperlu risau ngn macam2 mslh...

wish i can turn back time...

(but ist ridiculous rite? xpela, skali skala windu nk jd kanak2 umo 8taun, xsalah kn?? ^^ )

.: after awhile :.

Assalamualaikum wbt.....

At last, after i settled down, finally got some time to write something here.

suda lame saye x blogging kan? sebenar xbape minat share things publicly but sometimes,

u just need a medium.

a medium to express anything in mind. freely.

Alhamdulillah saya hampir berjaya menjadi employee tetap Masterskill. maybe next month,

InsyaAllah...

Wlupon xderla kaye if kje masterskill ni, but somehow im grateful for wutever God gave me.

Saya juge tataw bape lame saya akan stay here.

But i know it will be a while.

Maybe 1 or 2 years...

Then?

Wallahu alam.... ^^

Skg da pown masuk 2011. n im officially 25 dis year.

(gosh. tua sgt rasernye.hik2)

Kalau dulu, umo ni sy comfirm maw kawen. xkire~~

but now, i dont think its an obligation that need to be completed dis yr yet.

maybe bukan masa saya lagie, kan?

jodoh akan tiba...... bile,

DIA yg Esa, tau kita benar2 telah bersedia.

n i know, im not yet ready for it.

wahai jodoh, tunggula ke'redian' sy oke??

^^